高槻市加賀山 乾性寺

I didn't like eating with people.
 
It seems that there are quite a lot of people like this.
 
The reason seems to be different for each person.
 
 
I don't like taking time.
 
Because it's hard to take care of others.
 
I can't help but worry about people's eating manners.
 
 
There are various reasons, including the ones I just mentioned. But my reason is different.
 
I fear doing things such as turning the food upside down in public or spilling my drink.
 
 
 
 
Trying to get the sauce and getting it dirty on the clothes in front of people.
 
Failing to receive the special food brought by the waiter.
 
I'd say it's almost impossible to do such things from my experience.
 
But on the way to a dinner party, the image always crosses my mind, and I feel fear every time.
 
 
I believe I'm probably not the only one.
 
It seems that there is a considerable cognitive gap between the movement that you draw in your head and the actual movement.
 
In short, your body doesn't move the way you want it to.
 
 
You may hit your shoulder against the fittings,
 
slam the tableware into the faucet or sink even when you were careful,
 
and kick the luggage at your feet you thought you had avoided.
 
You do these things every day.
 
 
It makes me sad as I write this.
 
Why is my body not doing what I want it to do?
 
Isn't it an irreplaceable partner1 that you've been familiar with for a long time?
 
Wouldn't it be nice if you could be a little more understanding and flexible?
 
 
I'm sure people will see me bumping into them everywhere,
 
and think that I'm a restless person and that my movements are sloppy.
 
It's a misunderstanding.
 
 
But it is a fact that I am making moves that cannot be excused.
 
So when I go out to eat with people,
 
I'm afraid when this body will move unexpectedly and cause a rough situation.
 
I'm so nervous about watching and I'm tired.
 
 
I want to fix this clumsy movement because I'm afraid of people's eyes.
 
But it's not fixed, at least for now.
 
 
 
By the way, it seems that this is not just about the body.
 
It is also about the heart.
 
I am an apprentice chaplain3, but when I went to a certain person,
 
there was an incident like this.
 
 
An elderly person said, "I'm going to die" right after I said hello.
 
Maybe it was "I want to die."
 
I wondered how I got it back.
 
Then, from the other side, a terrifying word came out, "It's your fault."
 
In the blink of an eye, I was yelled at, "Go back!" And I was kicked out of the room.
 
 
I visited the person again a few weeks later.
 
Then, although I was told to "go home" once, as a result of persisting and continuing to talk,
 
The person told me in tears, "I'm glad I met you."
 
 
I was surprised by the range of feelings this person had,
 
The movement of the human mind may be quite dynamic in nature.
 
The fact that not everyone can control the rough seas is more important than realizing that.
 
 
 
The ups and downs of emotions should be considerable even for people who look quiet.
 
Because inside of us is everything from Buddha to hell.4
 
 
 
My body, which is deaf to exercise, does not move as intended.
 
That said, for some reason, I think the people around me are aware of that.
 
At worst, if you carry a copy of your physical education report card with you, you will be able to understand it better.
 
 
However, what about people with a heart that doesn't move--
 
Tone deaf? Emotionally deaf?
 
 
 
Since the blunder of the body is at most the person who hurts,
 
sometimes it's funny to say, "Oh no, I failed."
 
But in the case of the mind, there is something close to the mismanagement of fire.
 
 
 
There must be many people, myself included, who are having trouble controlling their bodies.
 
But it is not surprising that there are several times as many people who cannot handle their minds well.
 
Perhaps there is a way to become a better emotional steerer.
 
But I think it's training that is a little away from scientific theory and common sense that is needed.
 
 
 
(This is only about now. I don't know what the future holds.)
 
So let's do our best everyone! I am very lost if I can say this.
 
 
 
 
By the way, it is unknown whether it is a merit of training,
 
But I have become much less uncomfortable with eating with people.
 
 
 
 
*1
This explanation may be a bit problematic in modern Japan.
 
In the parable of Buddha, there is a story2 of a rich man who had four wives.
 
This rich man realizes that he is about to die and seeks a wife who will die with him.
 
He was flatly rejected by the wife he loved the most.
 
He was rejected by both his second and his third wife.
 
But only the fourth wife was willing to die with him, whom the millionaire treated most roughly.
 
In this story, the rich man deeply regretted his actions.
 
 
The wives were examples of the following. The first wife was his body.
 
The second wife was his property.
 
The third wife was his family and friends.
 
The fourth was his actions in this world.
 
 
 
The story teaches us that only the consequences of our deeds follow us after death.
 
 
 
 
Given this story, it makes perfect sense that my body wouldn't listen to me.
 
Before leaving this world, it is really kind to imply that it will be abandoning me.
 
 
*2
It is said that a monk in this story was used in a Buddhist sermon long ago.
 
It seems that an old man in the audience reacted and said,
 
"Yeah, I learned a lot. The story is that the wife is limited to the fourth person."
 
 
 
I heard that you struggled with the difficulty of telling people.
 
I'm curious about your grandfather's marital status.
 
 
 
*3
 
A chaplain is a religious person who provides spiritual care at a hospital or facility.
 
Many of the sick people I deal with have their hands full with their own suffering.
 
For that reason, in a nutshell, it is very complicated.
 
They are often difficult people to deal with.
 
Healthcare workers and caregivers are busy and don't have enough time to respond.
 
They tend to isolate themselves from those around them.
 
That is why we exist.
 
 
*4
 
The so-called the Mutual possession of the Ten Worlds.
 
In our hearts, we have precious hearts like Buddha and Bodhisattva.
 
Buddha and Bodhisattva also have minds like ours.
 
We have the chance to do so if we want to live like Buddha.
 
The Buddha is with us even if we cannot do that.